Return of the Jousting Monkeys - Revising the Statement of Purpose

Surprisingly, I actually spent a few hours revising my Scroll of Intent this past weekend (my new laptop is the best thing since the invention of sliced bread, and has also been blessed by various saints, I'm sure, and I can now revise and write from the comfort of my couch, while also browsing the vast array of information on the web, due to wireless internet access), basing my revisions on comments I've received from two excellent virtual friends (thanks Amy and Melissa!). It's harder than I thought it would be. Although the second draft has now been sent off for additional review and comments, this is still possibly the hardest piece of writing I've ever had to produce. A foul two-headed Giant, indeed. And I'm no Arthur (or even a bumbling Sir Bedevere).

Arthur and the Giant of St. Michael's Mons

The first draft came fairly easily, when I wrote it a few weeks ago. Obviously, it's waaaay too long, but it flowed, without too much restriction or structure. After reading commentary, revisions did not go quite as smoothly. Although I have decided to stick with the initial quote I began with, as it can connect to just about every aspect of my research interests, I keep trying to make sure that everything ties together perfectly, flawlessly, as one unit. It's hard. It's especially hard keeping it to the 500 word requirement. I feel like I could fill up double that amount with what I want to say and what I feel is utterly important and necessary to show my scholarly potential (and thus, get the Senior Knights at the Holy Order of Yale (or if not Yale, a different order in my list) to immediately accept me to their Queste program with a nice fat stipend for the occasional meat pie, a new horse (to keep my Palfrey Mare company so she stops trying to buck me off her back like we're in a rodeo or something), and brand new armor. Did I mention being knighted by a Yale [or another Order] Senior Knight is included in the deal?).

Voynich Manuscript

Revising statements of purpose often feels as futile as trying to decipher the Voynich Manuscript*. How is it possible to demonstrate our brilliance as scholars in a paltry 500-700 words? (some Orders of Knights actually require a much more succinct version, limiting your scroll of intent to a mere 300 words). In these 500 words, I am supposed to demonstrate my history as a knight errant in Academia, any trophies I've won along the way from various tournaments (and these must be entered in a "by the way" type of manner, with no boasting or pride, as humility in a knight supersedes all other qualities, and must be equal to his prowess - just ask Geoffroi de Charney**), how deeply I understand dragons and their feeding habits, and which senior knights influenced me the most. In addition, the scroll of intent must also include future plans - which particular dragons do I wish to slay, why is slaying them particularly important or relevant in today's modern world, and what other branches of study to I endeavor to take on? Finally, I must also state why The Holy Order of the Knights of Yale is the perfect program to advance my Queste for the Holy Grail (this paragraph gets adjusted per the order I send it to, obviously - it would be terribly embarrassing to send of a scroll of intent to Northwestern with the Yale information, right?).

St. George Slaying the Dragon

I ended up keeping the quote I chose for the first draft, partially because I just couldn't find a different quote that was quite as encompassing. After all, Loomis defined the Questing Riddle quite well - sometimes the older questions are still relevant. After all, no one has managed to answer the riddle in a definitive manner since 1963 (including Loomis). I did manage to cut off quite a lot of extraneous text. But I'm still a few hundred words over the limit, and I still feel that it just isn't good enough. So now that I've finished draft 2 of the scroll of intent and have sent it off for review, I'm struggling with various questions about it. Does it sparkle? Does it represent everything I want to do? Does it show how capable I am of entering a queste at the greatest orders of knighthood in the country? Is it brilliant and compelling? Do my questions appear relevant and important to scholarship? I still have nightmares of all those senior knights rolling around on the floor near the Adcomm Round Table as they read my application. I've been told that this is normal.

Obviously, the scroll of intent isn't even close to being done, at least as far as I'm concerned. Those bloody jousting monkeys don't seem to stay put and keep running around poking each other in inappropriate anatomical regions or dressing up as doctors and monks while performing various high jinks on other hapless animals (they have something in common with my Palfrey Mare, I presume...), but it's all part of the process of the Queste. Perhaps in April, once my acceptance letters arrive, I will be laughing at my insecurities and nitpicking perfectionism that are currently displaying themselves with a vengeance (what on earth do they have to be vengeful about?).

Slaying dragons is hard work. However, no one ever said that the Queste for the Holy Grail would be easy.


Next time on the Queste (unless I get distracted): Soliciting Senior Knights to write Letters of Introduction. A tragic saga of passion, death, and martyrdom (oops, actually, the tragic saga is something else entirely. Soliciting Senior Knights is basically just begging and pleading while humiliating oneself utterly).


* The Voynich Manuscript (for those of you too lazy to follow the link and learn something) is a late medieval text written in a language or cipher that has yet to be broken. No one knows what it says, the only clues being the many illustrations and illuminations of plants, cosmological bodies, and naked ladies in round baths.

** Geoffroi de Charney was a great French Knight (he was a card carrying member of the Order of the Star, which was formed to compete with Edward III's Order of the Garter), who was taken captive in battle twice and ransomed handsomely. He died clutching the French King's banner in his hand. He also wrote three books about chivalry in his lifetime, and was possibly the first owner of the Shroud of Turin.