Back in the Saddle

My Palfrey mare doesn't like me very much, and has been throwing me off her back for the past ten years (especially every time I considered a life-changing event which could, possibly, lead me back to school for graduate studies). Last November, however, after being fired from yet another pointless administrative soul-sucking job in the modern world of bio-tech, I decided to take my Palfrey mare in hand, and settle myself firmly as the driver and leader of our tragicomic sketch routine.

Preparing to take my Palfrey mare in hand

Obviously, the first round of driving the mare didn't quite work out as I'd hoped, and no acceptances to graduate programs arrived via the electronic ether (nor by courier post). It was, of course, lack of preparation and practice that was the main reason. It had been a looooong time since I'd even sat on the saddle, let alone gave my Palfrey mare free rein to canter (not to mention gallop). Obviously, my lancing and jousting abilities were extremely rusty. For example, I had actually forgotten how to write in academic language. However, in uncharacteristic determination, I decided to try applying again for Fall 2011. And here I am now, after an additional uncharacteristic (and unprecedented) decision that perhaps by sharing these experiences of taming my wild mare and learning to ride again, and having to be answerable to an audience of readers (well, hopefully. It is possible that I'm writing to the void and that no one will ever read these little insignificant posts), I will increase my chances of acceptance to a glorious queste and a circle of chivalrous knights filled with academic prowess, all seeking the Saangraal of academia - a Ph.D.




Knocked off the saddle the first time around...

The initial steps towards this journey began, unfortunately, with the horrible Demon of GRE (Appollyon is nothing compared to this one...). The Demon of GRE is a horrible creature, spouting math questions that I haven't looked at for nearly twenty years, and it's tongue was quick and slippery in its verbal discourse, sowing confusion and strife among test-takers. I jousted the Demon successfully (especially in our Verbal exchange), although the secondary Demon of Subject GRE did manage to get in a good hit in my chest armor, for which I lost some points.This step consumed my days and nights between January and April (while attempting to work in five separate jobs, now thankfully narrowed down to three), and the sigh of relief I breathed when it was over could be heard from Cornwall to Acre. I then proceeded happily to the second step of my queste.

The second step of gaining acceptance to the queste, is, of course, selecting the Order of Knights I wish to join . The past few months have been dedicated to this endeavor, with immense time invested in visiting web-sites, reading up on senior knightsto learn from (and be squire for in large lecture classes), researching taught subjects, concentrations, and so on. Concurrently, I was engaged in refining my research interests from the general "I want to get me a holy grail in English literature" to a very specific idea of what particular variety of holy grail it will be, how it's decorated, what it contains, and most importantly, what food will magically appear* when it is presented to visiting guests.

Proudly riding forth (take two. Or is it 200?) 

This second preparatory step reached its final stages this past month. I now have a clear idea of my research goals, and have also selected the 13** most amazing, spectacular, heart-throbbing Orders of Knights to try to join. Some are particularly prestigious orders, with reputations that traverse the world, while others are just, well, damned good (despite their location in dragon infested areas such as Texas or Ohio, which I am willing to forgive them, despite the prospect of future exile into the wasteland, since they have Knights and Senior Knights galore that share my passions for Arthuriana and the Crusades).  Here are the contenders that won my heart and mind: The Holy Order of the Knights of Yale, The Most Noble Order of the Knights of Northwestern, The Star Order of the Knights of Cornell, the Most Holy Order of the Knights of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign chapter), The Order of the Garter Knights of Texas (Austin chapter), The Noble Order of Wisconsin Knights (Madison chapter), The Holy Order of the Knights of Harvard, The Holy Order of Oregon Knights (Eugene chapter), The Very Noble Order of Ohio State Knights, The Duke Order Knights of Durham, The Southern Star Order of Virginia Knights, and The Order of Western Coastal California Knights (both Berkeley and Los Angeles chapters). All are something to aspire to (to tell the most sincere and honest truthe, I would be absolutely thrilled to study my knightly duties at any of the above orders, but am most hopeful about The Holy Order of the Knights of Yale, which would be a dream come true and a holy grail indeed!), and all can assist me to achieve my queste for the Sangraal.

Of course, the fact that I find these orders so appealing doesn't mean that the opposite will be true - in fact, in my darkest hours, I usually imagine a group of Senior Knights in the adcomm Round Table, laughing hysterically as they read my application scrolls and view my jousting and tourney experience (paltry, at best). However, determined to be optimistic, I am forging forward into the third stage (which will be described in detail in the next post. It involves creating the Textual Illumination, i.e. the dreaded Statement of Purpose, and taming the Fire-Breathing Dragon of Academia, i.e. the Writing Sample).






* One should never forget about practical things like food "you moste desire" appearing out of thin air while on a queste such as this
** Thought to be an unlucky number by some. I will attempt to prove them all wrong!